Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I will pee on everything he values.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
