$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
