4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Randomize