Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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