Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
