this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
