Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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