I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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