Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
