I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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