I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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