OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I AM VODKA MAN
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
