I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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