remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
