she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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