carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
