Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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