um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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