Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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