I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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