i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
