I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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