so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
