You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i think im in europe. pls send help
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
