Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
