2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
