My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick, to the slutcave!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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