Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
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You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
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Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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