Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
