he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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