How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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