There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
