I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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