So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
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We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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