just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
