I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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