I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
