i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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