your room smells of hookers.
And success
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize