weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
