Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Rumble strips road head = magical
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
