they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Someone signed my nipple.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
