You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize