honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
