Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
