Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
