Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
