gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
