so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize