Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
this boner is exhausting
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize