Yo dont text me then not text me
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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