i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
