he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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