We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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