a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I enjoy the company of your penis
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
