Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink

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(416): View more from Ontario

Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.

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(240): View more from Maryland

i think i left a case of beer in your dryer

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(303): View more from Colorado

just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Almost there.

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.

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(+61): View more from Australia

one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire

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(614): View more from Ohio

i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised

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(443): View more from Maryland

Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.

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(641): View more from Iowa

At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.

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