I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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