How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize